They're All My Children by Danielle Wozniak

Author:Danielle Wozniak [Wozniak, Danielle]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Social Science, Anthropology, Cultural & Social, Human Services, Social Work
ISBN: 9780814793466
Google: anETCgAAQBAJ
Publisher: NYU Press
Published: 2002-01-15T04:24:02+00:00

Well, the oldest one I have, she was seven, her brother was five. [When she came,] her brother was four and she was six and her sister was a baby. When she came here she was like, “I know how to cook, clean, wash dishes.” So I even told them that experience at school. And they were like, “Well, most of the kids usually don’t know when they say that.” And I says, “Well, she knew because she had been taking care of those children while her mother was out doing drugs, so she knew.” But those are the things I had to try to break her out of. Because I was like, “You’re too young to be cooking, cleaning, and all that other stuff, you know, you’re just too young for that, and that’s not your responsibility. That is mine. I am the mother.” But she did all those things. . . . Well, I just weaned her less and less and less. It’s like, who told you how to do all those things? [She would say,] “Well, that’s what I used to do at the other foster home, and that’s what I used to do home when my mother lived there.”

Wow, I was like, “But you don’t have to do that here.” She didn’t even know how to ride a bike. She didn’t know how to read. So those are things I told her [to do]. I said you go sit down and read a book or you go outside and play, because you don’t know how to ride bikes and you don’t know how to read a book. She still has a lot of, she has a hard time in school. I guess when she was younger they never really taught her anything. But yeah, those are some things that I have to break her of. . . . It was hard. . . . We were persistent. She’s calmed down a lot. We’ve [got] the teachers involved. We’ve got the social workers involved in school . . . and she has calmed down quite a bit.

Foster mothers defined their mothering interventions with children as important, immediate, necessary, and ultimately ensuring children’s survival and protecting their quality of life. Women saw this survival both metaphorically and literally. Many children entering care have been physically battered or neglected to such an extent that their health and potential survival are compromised. It was not uncommon for women to receive children who required extensive, acute medical intervention as well as long-term medical care.

And this was a messed up kid when I got him. Oh, God. He was—first of all, he would take his head and like bang it on a wood table if you said no to him. Then he would like beat himself upside the head. He would like throw tantrums. He will bite. If you walk in, he might grab you by the leg or arm and bite you. You know? And I have to say, when he first came to me, I saw him fall.

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